This summer my two kids and I have been attached at the hip. No summer camps. Just us and swim and dive team. Biking the hood, playing games, driving in the car. Our go to family phrase when tension has gotten high, or we needed to regroup and find inspiration, has always been, “Team Family. ” We place our hands on top of one another, like a soccer team would during a team huddle and say on three, “Team Family.”

My niece came up with the phrase a few years back at her sister’s wedding. My kids were in the wedding and she was in charge of keeping them together and one of her tricks was this team huddle with hands in the middle and saying “Team Family” on three.

We have adopted this phrase. It comes in handy when we are all coming a bit unglued and need to regroup.

Yesterday morning, the kids were fighting over a rock. Yep, a rock. Everyone was exhausted. Tension was high. Hubby has barely been home, attending to his mom who has been in the hospital and the kids have been busy with swim and dive activity. I have been the driver getting everyone from point A to point B. The maid. The coordinator. The cook. The sherpa. The butcher, the baker and on a good day the candlestick maker.

Our family meals have not been as frequent, our sleep has been robbed, our connection as a family unit has been sparse. We miss each other, We crave our down time and have hit our limit of busyness.

When the fight over the rock began, I bit my lip and kept scrambling the eggs. I try to let the kids work out their own battles. But when the tears and yelling hit their peak, so did I. I couldn’t resist intervention. Have I mentioned I am also a therapist and a security officer?

“Family meeting, now, living room.”

Hubby came down the hall, tired and weary, shaving cream unnoticed on his cheek and under his lip.

“This will be short, I began. Here is the deal. We are all overly exhausted. Your dad has been taking care of grandma, we have been burning the candle at both ends (even as a candlestick maker I have my limits) and we need to be kind to each other. This is the time to come together not be at one another, especially over the details of who found what rock and who gets to keep it.”

“Team Family,” chimed in my son. Family huddle.

I said a few more things. Each took a turn with speaking their peace . And although bumpy and untidy we made it through the family meeting a little calmer.

In the end, son gave sister the rock and decided he could find another one. I kissed my hubby more than I have in the last week and we confirmed that everyone would be home for dinner. Together.

It gets rocky, totally crazy and we find ourselves taking on roles and doing things we would rather not be doing. But through it all we find that when we take out all the busyness, discard the

unnecessary and sit together at the table, with all our bumps and bruises we are still a family. United by blood, time, and this crazy thing called love.

“Team Family on three.”