The garbage cans were not out on the curb last Sunday night when the whole house was asleep. Hubby had fallen asleep with our son and I could hear him snoring down the hall.

I normally would have gotten my panties all in a bundle that I had to be the one to put out the garbage cans, since I was the one who cleaned the kitchen. Jealousy would have taken over that hubby was already asleep.

The garbage cans are just one of hundreds of examples of times when I have expected someone else to be responsible. And with those hundreds of examples I am choosing to not name, have come big reactions. Explosions of frustrations. Pissy attitudes all over someone not doing what I wanted them to do. When I am the one doing a task I expect hubby to do it only makes the situation bigger than it is when I get all huffy and righteous. The negative energy spreads throughout the house like an invisible deadly vapor. We all breathe in the toxic fumes of mama’s anger.

It takes more energy to be angry and annoyed then it does to just take a breath, smile and say ok, this is something I can do.

Does anyone else out there react like their world has just fallen apart when their expectations of others fall flat?

When I expect without stating my expectations and I only assume — I am not respecting or honoring anyone. I am loveless in those moments.

If I see that the garbage cans are not on the curb, the bikes are out in the rain, the dog has not been fed or any of a hundred other examples, I can kindly ask for help or just do it. Do it without being snarky. Do it without reacting all crazy.

I can respond gently with love.

I can only write this because after years and years of reacting experience I see it has gotten me nowhere. Just bitter. And that’s not a pretty place.

Instead I say YES to a responsive place. A place where love blooms and kindness gets things done.

Cheers, Jenny