I had the opportunity Wednesday night to walk in another’s man’s moccasins and put on a different pair of glasses.

I am pretty excited about the new neighbor’s down the street. I have known the woman for 32 years and her husband for over 10. They are expecting their first baby, which will make me a great aunt for the third time. Oh, did I not mention my new neighbor is my niece?

All moved in, my family and I walked down the alley Wednesday to check out their new place and give them “welcome to the hood” hugs. After the home tour and catching up it was time to get back home, one kid was ready for bed, the other had homework. Right in the middle of saying goodbye I had one of my spontaneous ideas. And in my typical Jenny style I went with my gut and blurted it out.

Hey, are you wanting a rocking chair for the baby’s room? I inquired.

Yes, both replied.

Well, we have a beautiful rocking chair we bought when the kids were babies and it is just sitting in the office with stuff on it, not being used. Would you like me to bring it over and if you like it, it’s yours?

That is when, standing only in my moccasins looking at things from only my perspective, I caught the look on my husband’s face.

I quickly added, We would only want it back, years from now, when you are all done with it.

Walking back down the alley, hubby was grumpy and quiet. When we got home and getting the rocking chair out of the narrow office door took effort, creativity, time and moving things around I noticed hubby’s happy mood was completely erased from the evening.

My son and I delivered the chair down the alley. The parents to be both loved it. That is when I said, I am excited for you to be able to use it, we haven’t used it in years. When your kids are raised and you are all done with it, we would like it back.

Of course. We get it. Absolutely.

They both saw the look on my hubby’s face earlier. And we acknowledged his sentimental attachment to the rocking chair.

Back at home, I could tell hubby was stewing as he vigorously washed the dinner dishes. I touched him on his back, realizing I had not even considered his feelings in the matter. I didn’t check with you first and I am really sorry for that, I told him.

He looked up from the dishes, face and shoulders softened. Thank you. It just took me off guard. If you would have asked me when we were alone I would have been fine with them having it. I spent a lot of hours with our babies in that chair, I want to own it until the day we die.

Wow. To me it is a chair not being used, taking up space in the office and to my husband it represents raising our children. Talk about a shift of perspective. I got it. He wasn’t being a grumpy-ass feeling inconvenienced by moving furniture, he was a big softy who values the past.

How many times have you assumed someone was being ridiculous, dramatic, grumpy and stubborn when deep down there was something else going on?

I am grateful for the opportunity to walk in another man’s moccasins Wednesday night and I’m even doubly grateful they were my husband’s. He taught me a beautiful lesson. Even in my excitement and good intention it pays to consider the feelings and thoughts of others.

 

Cheers, Jenny