On Wednesday I held Mama Needs A Refill’s first mini-retreat of the 2016-2017 season. The theme, mindfulness, is still stirring in my brain, as I practice with my body, mind and soul to live more intentionally, on purpose, paying attention.

A couple of weeks ago I shared the then upcoming retreat theme with my hubby by only stating that the topic would be mindfulness. He thought this was interesting, knowing his wife. In my deepest knowing, I knew right then this was possibly a big mistake for sharing. I was inviting trouble, good trouble, but trouble indeed. (See he is my best friend, who knows me better than I know myself at times.) It was from then on that we would have these “gottcha” hilarious interactions. One day I came home from my Trader Joe excursion with five full grocery bags and proceeded to leave the bags on the kitchen floor, counter and bench. I had checked my phone to find a text that at that moment I thought was more important than putting away frozen green beans and a carton of eggs. I was aware of the groceries and choosing to answer the text message even though in truth, it could have waited until the fruit was in the bowl and the canned goods in the cupboard.

“Oh, I see your being mindful, I’ll put away these groceries,” hubby says playfully.

“Oh, that’s right, the groceries”, I answered back. (Finally, someone to help me put away the groceries.) “I need to answer this text about soccer carpool, thanks for your help darlin”,  I said half mockingly as we both laughed. He thinks I am being typical Jenny doing more than one thing at a time. I was aware that I was multi-tasking, but appreciative of his reminder as I am practicing doing one thing at a time.

It was then and with all the reminders from hubby that would follow that I became aware that his definition of mindfulness was a little different then mine. One. Thing. At. A. Time = Guy Version. This is a version I aspire to and am working at toward, but the girl version or at least my version is doing more than one thing at a time and fully aware of it, paying attention along the way.

Hubby’s gentle wake-ups kept being delivered with love and humor. When I was making stew and at the same time letting the onions burn while I checked an email, my messenger offered, “Oh, I’ll just turn down the heat on these onions as I see you are busy being mindful.” Touche. Perhaps because he is a male or perhaps just because he is Rob, he is highly capable of doing one thing at a time, perfectly, to my utter annoyance. If he is cooking dinner, driving us to a soccer game, paying bills, or washing the dishes, conversation is extremely challenging. I am appreciative of this learning even thought at times I want to throw something at him. He is focused and attentive. The cool thing about learning and practicing mindfulness is that I don’t have to do it like he does, but it is about noticing and being aware. (I notice that as I am cooking onions, I want to look at my phone. It is up to me whether I do or not, I get to make that choice.) This is being mindful, paying attention in the moment. Looks like in that moment when the onions burned I was not in the moment and definitely not paying attention, allowing distraction to take me out of the here and now.

Here are some of my personal tips to add to your your mindful practice:

• • When I see time on the clock with repeating numbers, ie; 1:11, 3:33 or 5:55, this is my reminder to stop. I pause. I think of one thing I am grateful for in that moment. I breathe. This takes less than ten seconds and brings me into the here and now.

• • Before I speak, I take a breath, asking myself, Is it truly necessary for me to say this? I find I am saying less and listening more, this keeps me mindful. Speak with intention, listen with intention. Not with an agenda. There is a difference.

• • Journaling. I journal in the morning, this clears my mind, assisting me in honoring and listening to my thoughts and feelings with a reflective and inquisitive mind. I also keep a small pocket journal for food, money and physical therapy. These are three relationships I am growing and deepening my awareness. Paying attention to what I eat, the money I spend and save and keeping me accountable to my healing exercises supports me abundantly.

• • Simply notice what you’re thinking when you are involved in an activity, without judgment or having to act on that thought. Just. Notice.

• • When doing one activity and another thought comes to mind about something I need to do for example, I write it down on a post it, or my hand. This way I am staying present to what I am involved in, yet at the same time listening to the internal reminder.

• • Before moving from one activity to the next – from work, to cooking dinner, attending a meeting, to driving carpool, I pause with a couple of breaths. This intentional process grounds me helping me to come to neutral and be centered in the moment, leaving the past activity behind, ready to engage in the next.

Whether I am doing ten things at once or one thing at a time, practicing being more attentive and focused, I am continually being reminded that all we have is one moment at a time. And I don’t need my lovely hubby to remind me, life is reminding me, every second.

Cheers, Jenny