Our daughter is 15. Do I need to say more? She is a great young woman, of course, they all are, I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Wednesday, rather than confronting her snottiness in front of her three girlfriends I decided to text her. When you get home I would like to have a conversation about your attitude. Thank you.

When she got home four hours later, she headed straight to the kitchen where I was standing at the sink. Mom, I’m sorry for my snotty tone, I was nervous about being late. I don’t say thank you, but I am appreciative of all you do for me.

We had a sane conversation, listening and acknowledging each other.

After a night of good sleep for both, it was like the conversation didn’t happen. Thursday morning that snotty, roll of the eyes, know it all tone, bit me when I suggested taking Vitamin C for her cough.

Here’s the deal. I am your mom. And I will continue to give out advice. It is up to you to ignore it or take it, but I would appreciate a different attitude.

The house went quiet fast. I breathed deep. Ok, I could have said that better. I know you are not a morning person, but we need to learn how to communicate differently.

She agreed. She always does great at do-overs. Giving me a chance to start again. Trying again on her end.

For me this raising a teenage daughter is all about patience and forgiveness. She is going through hormonal changes, so am I, so a reminder to breathe and trust helps me to be patient with her and with me.  Self compassion for the times I lose my cool paves a path for starting over. Showing mercy for her moments of snotty snobbery unites us.

Every day is an opportunity to communicate with love even when I’m not particularly feeling the love in return. It’s not about me or  the job I am doing raising a daughter. It’s about treating every moment as a new one, a fresh start to begin again. Begin with love, patience and forgiveness. And oh, yes humor helps tremendously.

Cheers, Jenny