How do you know you are running on empty and could use a little more fuel in your tank?

We all hold an empty cup in our own unique manner. No two empty cups look alike. When I am empty I am definitely not in the present moment, cussing like a sailor, yelling, defensive, reacting and not at all my best self. This can happen when I am tired, have been giving more than receiving and putting my needs at the bottom of the list.

Some of the clues I now recognize like an old friend I don’t necessarily invite for a visit: I say,” Yes”, when I want to say “No”, I am frustrated, I am judgmental, I yell, I day dream about the past or future, I clean the house. When one or all of these things show up it is like I am wearing Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter A on my chest. No, not for adulteress. A for Avoider. I avoid with a capital A when I am empty. The result emptying myself even more. The worst kind of cheating. Cheating myself.

The trick is to notice before the signs appear. I do this by tuning in and listening to my thoughts in my brain and the words on my tongue. But if humanness sneaks up on me and I am doing what I don’t want to do and acting in a way that doesn’t make me proud, I stop. I notice. I make a change.

Start with your clues. How do you know you are approaching empty? Is it in your tone, your words, your actions or some other evident way of being? Rather than keep on going down the empty road are you willing to stop? Stop and learn from your actions? Begin again with a refill. Whether that refill is a deep breath or giving yourself a “time-out” to engage in something that nurtures and feeds you. This can be short, not necessarily time intensive. Just step away whether in mind or body and do for you. Be present to your needs.

Knowing when you are headed toward empty is the place to start. Be aware. Pay attention. Notice the times you aren’t your best self and love yourself anyway. Love the snarky not best you and then go fill your tank. One refill at a time.

Cheers, Jenny