My daughter is her daddy. That must be why I’m so crazy about her and the reason why we bump heads a little more lately as we both learn to navigate the waters of teenager/mother relationship. At times awkward, challenging, confusing and always unpredictable.
I am drawn to her father because of our differences. Apparently opposites attract and often can be the root of arguments, misunderstandings, and frustration all at the same time.
Hubby and I are different when it comes to our personal spiritual relationships. As they should be, we are different people. In all our years together he supports my beliefs and ways of practice and I support his, no judgment. This difference in spiritual connection is emulated in our children. Daughter like daddy. Son like mama.
Sitting around the dinner table it is son and I who typically say grace while daddy and daughter are content with saying, Amen. Son and I will want to expound on every detail in life we are thankful for whereas, the other two are content with not saying a word. Different personalities, unique souls, honoring who they are as individuals not conforming to another’s ways.
Wednesday in preparation for an evening event I decided to meditate laying down in the middle of the afternoon. As I lay there regrouping, connecting the light bulb struck. I wanted to lead myself through a Chakra Cleansing Meditation. Chaka – khan, chaka who, chakra what? I have done it on my own but had been desiring someone to read me the typed out meditation so that I could really be in the meditation as opposed to eyes open reading it. Daughter was in the other room.
When I was connected and regrouped with my own silent time I asked her if she would be willing to read me something, a guided meditation. Daughter politely declines any invitations from brother and myself to join us in meditating, praying or choose our morning words. A ritual that grounds him and inspires and centers me.
I was surprised at her quick, Ya, sure, response. I just read this while you sit there with your eyes closed?
Basically, I told her. I want to fully experience the meditation without having to read it myself.
Oh, and before you begin, a chakra is an energy center. We have seven. They are located in our bodies.
She began to read as I closed my eyes and listened to her sweet voice giving me instruction. I avoided the mother-like tendancy to correct her pronunciation of words like sacral and vitality. Her cadance was perfect. I was able to go within being led by her words. Lulled inward by her sweet guidance.
At the end of the ten minute or so meditation I thanked her and jokingly asked if she would like me to cleanse her chakras. Again a polite refusal.
I’m good, she told me.
Yes, you are, I told her back.
Her church is the soccer field, her God something outside of her. In that moment my church was in the living room with my daughter. Connected to the Divinity withing her, me and all around us. Sure my tastes are more “woo-woo” than her tastes. But in the end it doesn’t matter. We shared a moment. She came into my world not embracing it in the Zen position, chanting oms. Rather in her own beautiful, sweet authentic private way of reading words off the page, reaching out to her mama even if it was new and a little awkward.
Thursday morning I tried to push my luck. As the three of us drove to swim team practice, son and I engaged in our usual morning ritual of choosing two words each for the day that can serve as our anchors, our centering point.
Deep breaths. What do I need?, I asked myself, eyes open driving down the highway.
Presence. Grounding.
After deep breaths from the back seat, son announced, Awareness. Healthiness.
The radio was playing an oldie but a goodie when I asked daughter playfully, “What are your two words, pray tell?”
I have four, she announced.
Wow, I was ready. So cool! I took a deep breath for her answer.
Knockin’ on heavens door, she said smiling her big sweet not quite a teenager yet smile.
It’s a good song.
She turned up the radio. We all laughed driving the rest of the way to the pool. No head bumping with the passenger at my side. The only thing needing navigation was the rest of the drive to the pool. Nothing awkward or challenging.
Opposites attract. We need each other.
Cheers, Jenny