This is the age of multitasking. Why do one thing at a time when you can do two, three and even six things at a time? There is an app for that —  to get it all done at once. Why be with the person in front of you when you can text another, order dinner, a pair of boots, theater tickets with a few clicks, all at once? I’ll jump to the answer. Because everyone, especially the person in front of you feels it.

This is how I was wired. Even before kids and certainly before cell phones and the explosion of technology, I did it all at once. From the moment I hopped out of bed each morning until I hit the pillow again that night — go, go, go — I was designed to be in motion, checking things off the list, adding more to it — go, go, go.

Then I became worn out. Lots of things were getting done but I wasn’t fulfilled or necessarily happy about all the things checked off the list. I wasn’t present to what I was doing as I was thinking about the next thing. I spent so much energy — I’m wired like the Energizer Bunny on steroids — getting it all done I wasn’t stopping to enjoy it. I was easily distracted and unfocused when new inspiration and ideas came my way that I froze in overwhelm, unable to decide what needed to be done, let alone, what I wanted to get done.

When I started practicing getting clear each day with shorter lists and slowing it all down I began the practice of doing one thing at a time — and yes, it’s still a practice — a shift happened. When I stopped focusing on getting it ALL done and simply accomplishing what could be done and what I truly wanted to get done I transformed from the Energizer Bunny to the Present Bunny who could keep going and going but instead chose to pause, to do one thing at a time. When I am focused on the process not the final outcome I am in the moment. As I choose to surrender to how things could turn out in the future and instead participate in the present. The family notices. I am actually present while we are having a conversation or seated around the dinner table. They feel the difference.

In the morning I get clear and honor what wants to get done and what can get done that day. Here are a couple of tips that help me create a structure that still leaves room for the light to get in:

• First thing, I meditate. (Pausing clears my head and brings me to the present moment, rather than racing ahead before the day has even begun.)
• I choose three anchor words to ground me. (This mindfulness tool is something I can come back to throughout the day if I need to be reminded of my original intention of how I want to feel and where I want to focus my energy. Today for example my anchor words are Trust, Surrender and Joy.)
• I ask what I can do to fill my cup and I put it on the agenda. (I make myself a priority.) It may be my home yoga practice when the kids leave for school or it may be a walk after a client session. I schedule it like a dentist appointment, but with more joy and greater anticipation.

This Spring Break home with two teenagers, Margaret now 17 and Simon nearly 15, with no out of town vacation planned, I decided to apply the “one thing” rule in a different way. A family of introverts it would have been easy to go our separate ways all week, so I asked can we do “one thing a day together?”

Son, the pleaser who finds connection hanging out with his wolf pack (mom-dad-sister) excitedly agreed,”absolutely.” Daughter, who has a full agenda with softball practice, weight training at school, her gym workouts, job, time with friends, also agreed, not just as enthusiastically. “As long as I’m not doing anything else.”

Home during a cold, wet week in Seattle our “one thing together a day” worked great. We honored the spontaneity Margaret and I possess and Simon’s need for a plan and structure. A card game one day, movie theater (I highly recommend Captain Marvel) the next, a picnic with our cousins another day, trips to the coffee shop. We created fun and connection with simple activities. No wild plan of adventure. We don’t need to be anywhere extra special to enjoy each other. The one thing a day challenged us to be creative as well as honored the introvert part of each of us. This also was a great preventive for being edgy or snippy with each other. Too much togetherness can be claustrophobic. (And not very pretty.)

We were given the opportunity to practice:

• Communication – ask for what we need, offer what we can. Release assumption and expectation.
• Kindness – when you have space from each other the times you are together it’s easy to be kind, respectful and gentle.
• Play – try something new, think out of the box.

I say practice because that’s what we are doing in this life, we are practicing how to get along, how to learn from our differences and how to honor our needs as well as notice and pay attention to the needs of others.

When Margaret and Simon were little I took it all too seriously. I tried to get it ALL done. I used my energy in efforts to make everything perfect. Then with the over stimulation of technology, I got distracted. It was time to practice soul care and connection. I was invited to bring it back to basics — to keep it simple. I needed to bring it all down to a digestable level — clean one room, not the whole house. Start one project — not five. Be. With. The Thing or Person. In front of me. Fill my cup — first.

     Whether you have little ones, teenagers, or an empty nest — how can the practice of one thing whether it’s for your soul care, to-do-list or interacting with others help to fill your cup?

In this time of overstimulated, over scheduled, busy craziness, let’s slow it down. This life is not a race. Let’s enjoy the ride.

One. Thing. At. A. Time.

Cheers, Jenny