We are all about to create a new version of what it means to celebrate the holidays, whether for you it is Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year’s or something called by a different name entirely. In the middle (hopefully that is miscalculated and we are actually past the middle, now eight months in) of a health pandemic-climate crisis-political mayhem-racial inequity-distance learning period, which I will refer to in the rest of this blog post as THE SEASON. Seasons, please be reminded, do not last forever, they come and go, even though this one is hanging out longer than a typical three-month period, it will be gone.

 

Stress is often part of the equation during the holidays and all stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In year’s past I have shared with you tried and true practices to avoid or at least lessen the amount of holiday stress that cause you angst and sets you back. This year requires a rethink, an updated perspective and a brand-new re-frame as there is bound to be a whole different level of stress in that you will not be able to celebrate as you have in the past. Masks, pandemic restrictions, COVID-19 distancing rules and the desire for safety of all your loved ones is calling forth something fresh and original.

 

Let’s start with that. You can’t celebrate like you have in the past. Be sad about that—acknowledge your feelings without sugar coating, ignoring, or numbing. Name it. THIS SUCKS because ________________________.

 

Recognizing what you are feeling can lift some of the heaviness from your shoulders as you name it and face it head on. Health professionals tell us that suppressing your feelings, especially the big uncomfortable ones, can negatively affect your immune system. Acknowledging what it is that actually sucks as you investigate what is beneath your feelings can release the amount of stress and give you breathing room to get to the other side of it. For example, naming this sucks because I am not wanting to be alone or this sucks because I can’t see my friends and family.  Stating what may seem obvious to yourself creates an enormous opening for growth and healing.

 

The next thing I offer is to ask yourself how is THE SEASON at all a gift?

 

What Jenny? Yep, how can NOT celebrating like you have in the past be a gift? —you wonder out loud. You love how it has always been done. You long for those celebrated traditions, you miss your people.

 

I offer that you take the parts that stressed you out in the past and you be in gratitude for a break from them, whether it was family drama, shopping, or traveling. Next, breathe in that this is NOT forever this is one time for THE SEASON. And now you go further and seek the gifts of this time, despite not seeing or being with family and friends like you have in the past. The gifts that I personally recognize amongst the sad and disappointing are this: no travel headaches, more time to appreciate the simple holiday pleasures in the comfort of our home, less pressure to do and more space to be.

 

Traditions mean a lot to me, new and old. And yes, that is a big part of the holiday season, so this year how can you honor some traditions even though it won’t be the same, release the ones that cause negative stress and be open to creating new ones?

 

I have always sent out Christmas cards every other year and this year it’s that time again to send them out. Because I don’t do this every year and because I haven’t seen lots of people in a long time, I am looking forward to creating, writing and sending out greetings. Having more time to enjoy the experience rather that ticking off the to-do box, feels joyful and meaningful. I am changing up the tree decorating tradition in our house by getting a second tree which means more festive decorations than usual. My daughter and I are going to try out new recipes as well as pull out the favorites from year after year. The standby movies will be watched as well as some new ones.

 

Often with holidays it’s the little things, so how can you participate in the small acts of celebration? Maybe you aren’t seeing loved ones face to face but you can send a bit of love with a card, phone call, or unexpected offering. Surprise a neighbor or someone you care about with a front porch delivery of your favorite baked good. Play music. Bake. Cook. Create. Plan an online gathering—keep it short and sweet to prevent Zoom burn out—have a theme, dress up, play a game.

 

If you will be alone, I urge you to connect in a meaningful way even if it is on a video call using, FaceTime, Zoom, Line, Duo, What’s App or any other free convenient technology. My 88-year-old mother whom we will be video chatting with during Thanksgiving dinner, asks that I give her a What’s App video call regularly. She lives alone and says seeing the faces of her loved ones makes all the difference.

 

In THE SEASON may you name what you are feeling, find the unexpected gift in the challenge, create a celebratory vibe with others even if at a distance, honor what matters and create joy in the weirdness.

 

This isn’t forever.

 

What would you like to look back and remember from this time? Do you want to remember the loss and emptiness or the little moments you celebrated?

 

In the darkness, I will turn on the lights, hold up my cup and celebrate the little things.

 

Cheers, Jenny