I think I learned that giving and receiving needed each other long after holding an empty cup. And it continues to be something I need to remember both in my own life and in my life coaching practice.
Clients come to me feeling guilty about doing for themselves then after some serious deep diving they come to understand the absurdity of that feeling. In fact, they uncover the guilt as a disguise to what is really coming up. We think we should feel guilty. We think we should do things like everyone else. Parenting isn’t a cookie cutter formula and either are our feelings.
One thing I do know for sure is that when we continually put our needs aside this catches up to us. Even if you like to give and you get a lot out of doing for others there is a natural point of tension where it can be harmful to yourself and others to continue to ignore the necessity of receiving.
When someone offers a helping hand and we decline the assistance we are turning away love. When we allow another’s extension of love, we empower them in our receiving. They feel good to give, just as we do, so when we welcome their time and energy there is a restored balance of giving and receiving.
When someone offers to give to you:
- Say, yes please.
- Say, thank you.
- Remember that saying no is turning away the way they are wanting to love you.
- Let go of control.
- Recognize the yin and yang, the necessary circle of life.
It can take practice to receive, give yourself lots of space to try this out. Notice the joy you are actually giving to another when you accept their help and care. Notice how your energy shifts when you are holding a full cup. And notice the difference it makes in all of your interactions and relationships. You will discover there is nothing single minded about pouring into your cup–it benefits all.
Recently in a coaching session my client discovered that her giving was out of wanting something in return. When she learned some tools to practice giving for the right reasons, without expecting something in return, this opened her up to receiving beyond her wildest dreams. There was a dynamic shift in her relationships as well.
Where can you open up to receiving and say yes when help comes your way?
Blessings in your practice and may you discover an even fuller cup.
Cheers,
Jenny
