The idea to choose anchor words at the end of my morning meditation and prayer practice is such a habit now, I barely remember how it started. I only remember that it began with a desire to stay connected to the calm — centered feeling I had from my time in stillness. I also recall a longing to be rooted firmly to the knowing that all of my answers come when I get out of my head and drop into my heart.
When our son, Simon, was little we tried everything to comfort and support his anxiety. Western, homeopathic, and naturopathic doctors, energy healing, shamanic healing, therapy, and diet. After an exhaustive search for peace and council the most beneficial aid has been the simple ritual that I had been using in my morning practice. Anchoring himself to a word each day provided all the comfort and support necessary to navigate in an overstimulated, often anxious riddled world.
When Simon was eight years old and his therapist had said there was nothing more she could do to help him find calm in his daily activities and overall being — I thought I’d give it a try by sharing my anchor word ritual with him.
Walking the first block to the school bus each morning in silence we allowed bird song and traffic noise to be the only sounds shared between us. At the start of the second block Simon was ready for my daily question: what are your words today?
In the first block he was getting still in his mind and going within asking, what do I need to today? That is when the answer came to him in the form of two words. Looking back at notes and journals during that three year period his most common response was, strength and gratitude.
Armed with his daily anchor words he wasn’t worried anymore about the bus ride, the teacher’s comments and interactions with classmates. He was able to board the bus and face his school day equipped, guided and ready — knowing he had everything he needed right inside of him. His focus now grounded in the present moment — fueled by his anchor words. At the end of the day, tucking him into bed at night, I would ask him how his anchor words supported him through the day.
“Mama, it was helpful, when my teacher was frustrated with me, I took a deep breath and remembered I was strong. On the playground when I got angry with the kid I was playing with, I stopped and gave myself a timeout and thought of how thankful I was for you and dad.”
Strength and gratitude. Two anchor words to provide support and guidance. No drug or special diet needed. An invitation to seek within — for Simon at the age of nine, a religious boy who loved God it was a form of prayer. Now, nearly fifteen years old still using this practice, not necessarily daily, I don’t know if he would still refer to it as prayer. The way he talks about it now as an aid in his life for big tests, soccer games and stressful situations, it sounds more like a mindfulness tool, a ritual to peace, a grounding practice. A prayer or tool — both an invitation to connect to the wisdom within.
The more I shared this practice with others the more it became clear that everyone, regardless of being wired anxious or not, can benefit from a practice of intentionality. That is how the Anchored Deck was born. My anxious, scattered, busy, energetic self chooses three words from within every morning after my meditation and prayer practice. This grounds me in my truth and sets me up with my home base. Now that I have a physical deck, created out of the words I used most over the last six years, I change up my ritual and pull one from the deck while still receiving two other words that come from my practice of stillness. Simon likes two words and clients who range from age twelve to seventy tell me one word is plenty.
The ritual is simply asking, like Simon did on the way to the school bus — what do I need today? Then mindfully and intentionally pulling a card. The anchor word fits on a business sized colorful card that is small enough to place in your pocket, in your phone, on your mirror and big enough to not get lost. Then the practice is to check in throughout the day reminding yourself what the word is — it’s never an accident as the word shows up to support, guide, lead, direct and assist. When you go about your day completely forgetting that you are anchored the first opportunity that you become overwhelmed, frustrated or directionless you can ask, what was my anchor word today? As you recall your word this is a moment to connect. You may pause, take a breath or two, regroup. When the demands, responsibilities and stresses of life pile up, taking a moment to connect to the meaning, message and guidance of your word instills peace and initiates calm. I don’t know about you — I certainly know for me — that taking a moment throughout my day to become centered nurtures and provides greater flow and ease. Repeating my word as an affirmation or pausing to practice its guidance results in living more peaceful grounded and ultimately refilled.
Using this Anchored Deck is a reminder that as much as we seek outside of ourselves for solace and help, relying on the compass we all have within us we always find our way home. We are all curious and searching, hungry for meaning and purpose and in my experience anchoring to the wisdom, divinity, strength and guidance within is fuel worth plugging into on a daily basis.
If you are curious about how the deck works and you want to purchase your own deck — click on the Get Anchored Link at the main menu of my website, www.mamaneedsarefill.com.
Begin with a word, come back to the word, before you know it you will have a new cup filling habit in your tool kit.
Cheers, Jenny
