Have you heard that saying that you are doing as well as your most unhappy child? In so many ways – I get this. This spring and summer our youngest of our two children has been dealing with anxiety which is effecting not only his sleep but ours. It’s like the toddler years all over again. When you’re tired there is no solid foundation and everything crumbles around you.
We are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, seeking help and things are beginning balance out again. Here are some ideas to play with if you have a child feeling their anxiety so deeply the entire household is effected:
1.) Choose to respond with a breath before doing or saying anything. Rather than react impulsively, breathe. When you react with fear, worry and your own anxiety this amplifies the situation. Practice a slow steady response.
2.) Take naps – get rest – your own physical and mental well being is a must.
3.) Seek help. Doctors, therapists, energy healers, friends in the same situation – be curious about what is out there to support, guide and heal.
4.) Stay present. Rather than future tripping about your child’s days ahead be grounded in the here and now. Gratitude, yoga, meditation, getting out in nature, eating well and engaging in joyful activities help immensely.
As parents we want to protect our children from pain and keep them out of harms way. We forget or perhaps never really grasp that this path that they are on – anxious ridden or not – is their path. We do everything we can to support them and we show up 100% to help, but it is paramount to remember we can’t fix them.
Our son’s anxiety has been his teacher. It has been my guide, my reminder and a gift in so many ways. Through his anxiety he has learned self-care, compassion and patience.
We don’t have to think that every hardship our children experience is the end of the world. These paths can take them and us to new experiences, discovering new people, modes of thought and practice. All of this in itself can be life giving – a blessing.
Standing in it, doesn’t feel like a blessing. You must anchor to trusting yourself, your child, life itself. Rather than amplifying their anxiety with your concern, take action, and take solace that it won’t last forever even though their are nights, moments and days you are certain it will never go away. You’re not alone. When you least expect it the light will come through the window and a new direction on their path will come into view.
Cheers, Jenny
