My husband and I have a long standing joke about a cup of tea.

I will be craving a cup of hot, soothing tea, a caffeine pick me up, so I’ll boil water and make myself a cup.  Many times I just boil the water not getting to the cup of tea part.  The kettle will whistle and I’ll turn off the burner and be too busy attending to the kids needs, I’ll forget about the hot water in the kettle.

If I do actually make it to putting a tea bag in the cup and making a cup of tea it won’t be uncommon if I leave the cup on the kitchen windowsill to cool – forgetting about it, and discovering it hours later.

If my husband makes me a cup of tea and here’s where the joke is, he’ll say, Honey, I’ll just put your tea on the windowsill so you can forget about it.

This is what can happen not just in parenthood but in life, when it comes to attending to our needs.  We make attempts then get interrupted and distracted and forget about it.  Pushing it aside, telling ourselves we’ll just have to wait.  Other needs come first, our children, our job, our spouses, our parents, etc, etc.  So like the cup of tea on the windowsill, we turn cold and forgotten.

This is where practice comes in.  Start with putting the cup of tea in a more visible place, limiting the possibility of being ignored.  Make a list of the things YOU want to do for yourself: long walk, reading a book, meditating, watching a movie – uninterrupted, phone conversation, taking a class, painting a picture…whatever it is, then place that list in a visible place.  Seeing it every day may help remind you, Hey, I want and need to take care of myself. 

Then practice a new phrase, one that allows you to sip and savor your cup of tea and attend to the list on the fridge: I matter, I will make my cup of tea, and drink it too.

Cheers, Jenny