Holidays approaching. Life challenges at home. Raising teens. Caring for our parents. Plenty of reasons to explore what can keep you balanced and anchored to your best self this season.

 

Nearly sixteen years ago I was off center, a stressed out mom, who had her first panic attack while pregnant with baby number two. The panic attack was completely new to me. When my hyperventilating ceased and I found my breath, I calmed down, I found my center and I called my doctor. She immediately prescribed Prozac. I didn’t even know I was stressed, out of alignment and overwhelmed — my body knew — because anxiety and mental illness runs in my family I thought I better take it.

 

The Prozac ended up taking away one of my very best features — crying at Pepsi commercials and all sporting events. I’m a feeler you see and Prozac removed that from me as my top feature — the one who feels everything and you could see it on my face, it gave me my character. I missed my emotions. Out of fear of “inheriting” the family genes I stayed on Prozac for four years.

 

Then I met a wise woman who shared the thought with me that Prozac was serving as my “balancing agent”. That idea and word stuck with me. I ended up doing what “they” say not to do and quit the Prozac cold turkey. No drastic result, accept I started to cry at commercials and feel deeply again. See anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds are really needed, helpful and awesome for many, many people — it’s their needed balancing agent. It just wasn’t mine.

 

I started seeking a new balancing agent, when my kiddos were six and four years old and I discovered all sorts of things that brought me to my center: yoga, meditation, prayer, getting outside, gratitude practice and most importantly my breath. I practiced Bikram Yoga for seven years and found that regular practice was just the balancing agent I needed with young kids at home. Meditation continues to be my drug of choice as my practice continues to grow and evolve — it’s how I begin and end my day. Prayer has been the anchor that brings me within, where holiness resides and my great reminder that life is so much easier when I invite and welcome Grace. Mother Nature opens her door wide for me to connect, ground and heal. Just the very act of stepping outside and breathing in the fragrance of the air balances out my body, mind and spirit. Uniting with gratitude and being totally thankful keeps me from tipping over and holding an empty cup. All of these methods of connection, calming and grounding were the balancing agent my body, mind and spirit were craving.

 

I am so grateful for the experience of taking that little pill called Prozac for it brought me to a place I may have not found, it brought me to my center, my home within me, my landing place. It brought me to creating Mama Needs a Refill — my life coaching and restorative retreat business. It taught me that we don’t have to be our family history and that we get to find our balancing agent that meets us where we are, the season we are in, and the place that makes sense in the moment.

 

Some need more than a breath, a yoga pose, a prayer, a word of thanks and silence — I understand and honor that completely, trust me. For me after one panic attack I wasn’t needing a pill, I was needing a refill from within — to find my breath, connect to Spirit and my best self.

 

Each Sunday on Mama Needs a Refill, Facebook or Instagram , I pull a new word for us from my mindfulness card deck. This week our #anchoredwordoftheweek is BALANCE. (Order your own deck here.) We all have different balancing agents that support us at one time then it’s time to move on to another. I can say that for the last eleven years or more my favorite balancing agents are my breath and an anchor word. Deliberately pausing to breathe and align focuses my mind, opens my heart, makes my agenda crystal clear and brings me home.

 

As we all evolve and grow out of what has served us at one time, those times of shifting and transformation are an invitation to take a close look and listen to what balancing agent is calling our name. Whether it’s planning for the holidays, navigating teens, caring for elder parents or living this present life in general — stress can creep in AND when you make space to find your balance, the load isn’t as heavy. The stress becomes manageable. You can breathe again.

 

If you are taking a prescribed balancing agent and it’s working for you — yay, so delighted for you — and if it’s time to discover your own balancing agent — find it, claim it, make it your own and tap into it daily until it no longer keeps you balanced. Until you discover the best match your you, I invite you to make friends with your breath, your breath and an anchor word and may you find the peace you’re seeking and the balance you deserve.

 

Cheers, Jenny

 

Cover photo from Pinterest. Photo cred goes to Rowen Stillwater-reusable tea bags. www.rowenstillwater.com